I don't know that it's just Toyota. My experience with Ford is awful as well. Maybe CarPlay itself is just lousy. You're WAY better off with a proper iPad or other tablet mounted elsewhere that just sends audio to the head unit.
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Mine is working better as well. (Knock on wood)I just admit something must have been updated in the past 2 weeks and finally it’s been connecting automatically just like it’s supposed to. Happy early Christmas?